Portrayed By Penelope Cruz
Gender Female
Date of Birth October 15, 1854
Age 27
Aliases Maria
Place of Birth Marisales, Mexico
Occupation Soiled Dove, Bandolera
Known Relatives Carmen (Mother), Unknown (Father)
Partner or Spouse None


Esperanza swirls the glass before gulping the tequila in one single motion. She grimaces, only to lick her lips as she chuckles. “Gringos usually ask me to open my legs, and when they ask me to open my mouth, it isn’t to talk.” She rests one foot over the opposing chair, the crust of dried mud falling from her crappy sandals.

The muckraker shrugs, opening his small notepad and fetching a pencil. “I’ve been travelling the Ghost Trail and collecting stories for my magazine back east. Not all penny dreadful magazines are sold under the sunlight. There are collectors for the most interesting stories, some even paying more than a penny for the midnight edition.

The Mexican girl almost chuckles. “You want me to spill the beans, so your fancy lads in the East can have a thrill.” She crosses her arms, the old and frayed bodice wrinkling. “Opening my mouth or my legs is all the same. You will have to pay the 5 Dollars just like any other, gringo.”

The muckraker chuckles and drops the 5 silver pieces on the table. Esperanza takes one, bites it and then places all the coins in a pocket of the stained corset. She smiles more friendly and fills her glass once more, this time the guzano floating amid the yellowish liquor.

Esperanza drinks once more, playing with the Agave worm before swallowing it. “I was born in Mexico. In a small campesino villa named Marisales. Porfírio Diaz was a rebel and if I’m not wrong, the fucker got the big chair.

We were poor, but not as miserable as mi compadres are today. Father took me to the padre every Sunday, and I learned to read and write. Soon I was teaching los pequenos, and life went on. Bands of desperados roamed the land, stealing food and whatever else had any value. But we endured.

One day, the train with the supplies didn’t come. We waited days, weeks. The first sign of trouble was a train passing without stopping in our villa. We sent a scouting party to follow the track and discover what happened.

The Federales were bribed by some big farmer in another villa. Our food was being delivered anywhere else. Malaputa Lady Luck! Screwed by or own government after getting rid of the Austrian puto, Maximilian. Do you have this kind of problem in America, Gringo? Mexicanos will fuck another Mexicanos any day of the week.

As the food in our granary started to end, and famine became a real problem, Marisales became a raider villa. We sent our hombres to hunt and steal. The Federales cracked them hard, each ranging group returning smaller and smaller.

Soon I was bushwhacking grain carriages, stealing from lovely ladies in silk bodices, and living like a beast in the scrubland. One of my comadres was captured one day, and under tortura she croaked, telling the Federales that she was from Marisales.

Next thing we know, they came and burned our houses to the ground. They spared no one, not even the perros! When I returned from a raid, there was nothing else. Without anywhere to go, I decided to cross the Rio Grande. America!

My English was merda. No one wanted their lovely White Anglo Saxon Protestant learning from a chicana with injun blood. Fuck if she could teach them Latin, French, Spanish and maybe a bit of natural sciences.

This is how I ended a puta. You gringos crack me up with this Soiled Dove merda. In Mexico we call a spade a spade, and a puta a puta.

So, do you think your tinhorn readers will open their trousers for this tale? Listen gringo, there is no glamour in the West. There is even less South of the Border. Take the train back to your precious Atlanta, New York or whatever hole you came and forget us. The rest of the world already has."


  • No memorable quotes, yet.


  • Drinks lots of Tequila.
  • Speaks English with a strong Mexican accent, is also fluent in French, Spanish, and Latin.
  • Used to be a bandolera.
  • Has commited no crime in the US soil.



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